Seven Benefits of Saying “No”


Do you ever have a hard time saying “No”.  I do. I fear missing out on an opportunity or disappointing people. However, saying “No” does not have to be a negative. There are many positive reasons to use that short two letter word.

  1. Saying “No” now allows me to say “YES” to something better later. Good is often the enemy of the best.
  2. Saying “No” allows someone else to say “Yes”. Teammates are able to experience developmental opportunities when I say no. This requires humility and awareness that I may not be the best person for the job. It requires that I know my own strengths and those of my teammates.
  3. Saying “No” is a reminder that I am not indispensable.
  4. Saying “No” is a “Yes” to a more healthy lifestyle. It keeps me from the stress of over commitment or ever extending myself.
  5. Saying “No” is saying “Yes” to the power of being more in control of my life.
  6. Saying “No” is saying “Yes” to new opportunities I might not have known existed. Once I am more available, I  find other opportunities more in line with my passions and gifting.
  7. Saying “No” gives me time to do whatever I have put on the back burner. (Writing that book, blogging, train for a 5K, give attention to a relationship or project that needs my energy this month, etc.

What helps you say “No”?

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Photo credit: kitface via / CC BY-NC-SA


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Don’t Make Gratitude About Yourself

In a earlier post on “Boost Your Resilience with Gratitude”, I shared a tip from HBR Management Tip of the Day. While research shows the transforming power gratitude in our personal lives, our relationships and our organizations, gratitude is not all about us.

Heidi Grant Halvorson has a helpful and practical tip to not make gratitude about us. This tip appeared in HBR Management Tip of the Day. You can subscribe here to get their daily tips.

gratitude not about you.png

Adapted from “Stop Making Gratitude All About You,” by Heidi Grant Halvorson

Follow Heidi Grant Halvorson on Twitter here.

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Boost Your Resilience with Gratutide

What if you could decrease anxiety, reduce symptoms of illness while improving the quality of your sleep and building emotional resilience?

According to some studies, gratitude can help.  I had been thinking about starting a Gratitude Journal, and this tip provided the final encouragement to give me lift. At night before I go to sleep, my goal is to write down three things I am grateful for. And it literally takes just a few minutes. But, be warned: You may not be able to stop at just three items!

Here is the very practical and easy to do tip for you that I learned from HBR Management Tip of the Day. You can subscribe here to get their daily tips.


Adapted from “How to Evaluate, Manage, and Strengthen Your Resilience,”  by David Kopans

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Today we celebrate freedom in the United States. We like freedom. Freedom is great! Many have given their lives to protect our freedom for which I am grateful. I did a quick search on books about freedom, and there is a library of them:

There are books about financial freedom, emotional freedom, freedom in health and wealth, freedom from attitudes, habits and self-destructive behaviors. Freedom in relationships. Freedom from addictions. Freedom from guilt, shame, blaming. Freedom to forgive. Freedom to pursue our dreams. Freedom.

We value it personally. I value freedom. That is why I never really liked religion. It was a bunch of do’s and dont’s. A list of rules I had to follow. Far from giving me freedom, it felt like a moral straight jacket.

I have experienced something surprisingly different with Jesus. Would it surprise you that Jesus came to announce liberty and freedom, to open the prison to all who are bound? Does it blow your mind that Jesus came not to judge and condemn, but to announce grace and the Lord’s favor towards us? Give them roses instead of ashes, messages of joy instead of doom, a thankful heart instead of a faint spirit? Not just freedom, but comfort to those who mourn, care for their needs and heal the broken?  (Read it here). That was all a surprise to me! And this is exactly what so many in our world need right now. The families of the victims of the Pulse shooting in Orlando need it. The families of victims in Istanbul Turkey airport bombing need it. The families of the 14 drowned kids in Karelia, Russia need it. The veterans with PTSD and their families need it. Girls sold into human trafficking and sex slavery desperately need it. People all over the world need freedom, comfort, care and healing.

We all need it because we are all human and suffer frailty, brokenness and loss. We all need it because we thought life would have been kinder to us; that we would be further down the road and a little better by now. More loving and less petty. More kind and less resentful. Kinder to ourselves and others and little critical and harsh. More grace and less guilt. More feelings of competency and adequacy and less feelings of shame and not being enough.

We need all that. We need freedom. I need freedom. I need Jesus.

One of the greatest military commanders and kings of all time was a man named David. He needed freedom and everything that comes with it. He exclaimed,

“I run the path of Your commands, for You have set my heart free.”

“I will walk at liberty, for I seek your precepts.”

David, like you and me often found himself imprisoned by his selfish ways. He learned that true freedom is not found in doing what I want, when I want it; true freedom comes by yielding to God’s way.

Happy 4th of July everyone. Freedom!

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7 Ways Being a Wandering Photographer Helped Shape Me into a Leader, Part Two

This is the second half of a guest post by Mick Haupt. He is a photographer and graphic designer, and has worked with Cru for 25 years. Mick is a foodie, a cyclist, and family man with two uncontrollable boys. Check out Mick’s blog.

In 7 Ways Being a Wandering Photographer Helped Shape Me Into a Leader, Part One, Mick shared four lessons he has learned about leadership as a photographer. This week, he shares three final lessons with us, along with another sample of his awesome photography. Enjoy!

5. You learn to make decisions quickly. Sometimes this is as simple as where to stand for capturing the best shot. You need to evaluate and make a choice. Sometimes it is more complex like where to go and not to go for your own safety when traveling in foreign lands. Frequently there is no luxury of time, it’s just “take in the options” and choose. I wanted to catch the sunset on Eileen Donan Castle in Scotland, but it meant not crossing the bridge to the Isle of Skye. A hard decision, but I turned back and captured one of my most memorable images. A leader continually weighs the options and makes decision that bring success to the team.  


6. You learn that you’re not really in control.  A strange thing happens in photography, clouds and people keep getting in the way. One person asked me how I always capture images without people. I answered, “I wait.” Many times I’ve waited a while, because you can’t just go telling tourists where NOT to stand. I’m not that patient, but this has developed humility and restraint in me. Oh, I have flung my hands in the air in frustration, but I’ve also learned to endure not being in control of the environment. A leader develops composure and poise to persist while managing scenarios that can’t be entirely controlled.

7. You learn to enjoy small victories and happy accidents. Have you heard that term “a happy accident”? The Urban Dictionary defines it this way, “when something unexpectedly good comes from what would otherwise be considered a mishap.” Not every cloud has a silver lining, but sometimes a great outcome arises from the ashes of disaster. A small victory could be getting one great shot out of 100, or the light being perfect on someone’s face just as someone else moved their head. Rejoice when the perfect moment happens, even if they don’t happen often. A leader finds joy in little successes and shares that joy with her team.

A photographer is an observer by nature, but they are also a learner. The environment’s we find ourself in are constantly changing…people move and light shifts by the minute. So success is predicated on evaluating and adjusting moment by moment. A leader learns from their environment. They are constantly taking in and making informed decisions based on what they see. Perhaps you can now see how the challenges that face a photographer can develop a leader. I’m grateful for how every challenging and majestic experience has helped shape me. And maybe, just maybe, I have transcended the stereotype of the flighty, disorganized creative.

mick haupt

Thanks Mick for sharing your insights on leadership! You can follow his blog, Wandering 40 Days.


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